DENVER — The recent murder of an Aurora mother by her husband is one example of a disturbing trend in Colorado. A recent state-wide study found the greatest number of domestic violence deaths in 2021.
Just over 90 people died from domestic violence in that time. Many were victims targeted by their partners. Others were so-called "collateral victims" and unfortunately several of those victims were children.
Advocates say in many of the cases it seems like the topic might have been avoided between victims and their friends and family.
"That's something that we saw a lot of in our fatalities this year. In our case reviews there wasn't prior knowledge to the abuse in the home by loved ones, therapists, family friends. And there's a lot of stigma around domestic violence," said Natasha Adler with SafeHouse Denver.
Adler was part of the team behind the statewide report on domestic violence-related deaths. They noticed troubling trends.
"Almost every single case had a firearm that is used as the murder weapon. Also, the majority were male perpetrators. And the male perpetrators, the majority of them had used suicide as a means to end their own lives during the course of these homicides," she said.
Often time, children were there too.
"Within the Denver team, we found a lot of children present during homicides. Whether they were collateral victims themselves or present during those homicides and witnessed what happened," Adler said.
Advocates say even if children survive this situation, the impacts can still be long-lasting.
"Drug use truancy concerns. We've seen a lot of kind of behavioral concerns that have carried on with these kids into their teen years," she said, "When you look at perpetrator history, there have been several cases where our perpetrators have witnessed domestic violence in their homes. So it's definitely a crime that lasts generations."
As a friend or family member, there are warning signs to look for, including an uneven power dynamic. Look for signs of possessiveness, controlling behavior or restrictions on how your loved one is allowed to spend their time.
If you start to notice restrictions being put on how they can make money or if they aren't allowed to be financially independent, it might be time to take note.
"Any of those ways where the power dynamic is off, for whatever reason, ask questions. It might not be anything, but if you do ask those questions, and it is something, it's going to be impactful for that person." Adler said.
If you think you might be in an abusive relationship, there are free resources available that can help you navigate what happens next in your particular situation.
SafeHouse Denver: 303-318-9989
Gateway Domestic Violence Services: 303-343-1851(Arapahoe County)
The Crisis Center: 303-688-8484 (Castle Rock)
Safehouse Progressive Alliance for Nonviolence (SPAN): 303-444-2424 (Boulder)
Safe Shelter of St. Vrain Valley: 303-772-4422 (Longmont)
Family Tree Women in Crisis: 303-420-6752 (Jefferson County)
