The 7 things Colorado transplants have the hardest time adjusting to

Posted at 2:20 PM, Jun 07, 2018

DENVER — Thousands of people are moving to the beautiful state of Colorado every year, and Denver has become one of the fastest growing major cities in the country, according to the Census Bureau.

As with anyone who moves to a new area, there are sometimes adjustments that need to be made and misconceptions dispelled. Colorado transplants are no different.

1. Fast-changing weather

The old “If you don’t like the weather… ” idiom holds true for Colorado, especially if you live on the Front Range. Those menacing clouds that darken our skies every afternoon are usually looking to cause trouble, but sometimes they just want to hang — so chill!

2. What’s that bright light in the sky?

While the Front Range may see a little less of the bright, hot circle in the sky, most of the state is drenched in sunshine! Newcomers may not be used to so much light and forget to slather on the sunscreen. But yeah, you need to slather that stuff on!

3. Traffic

If Denver’s streets were your arteries, you wouldn’t be able to read this because of the massive heart attack you’re having right now. There’s no doubt traffic has increased over the last couple of years, but congestion has been in our DNA for several decades. Sadly, the only cure is beyond our financial reach.

4. Where’s the wine?

Don’t whine! We got wine but just not in our grocery stores. People moving to the state may be shocked to learn they can’t just grab a bottle of their favorite wine on a grocery run. You have to go to a separate building at a different address and purchase alcohol there. But that old law is slowly changing. Soon, more grocery stores will be able to ditch the 3.2 for the hard stuff.

5. Street sweeping

If you parked on a downtown street on the first and/or third Thursday of a month that begins with the letter “J” (excluding July on years ending in 3 and 8) between the hours of 8:47 a.m. – 2:58 p.m. (Eastern time) and you’re a Leo, Cancer or Capricorn, then you better go out and check to see if your car is still there. Newcomers may be confused by Denver’s street sweeping schedule, but you better learn it fast if you like having a car.

6. We’re nice!

The rest of the country must be full of meanies because the one thing we hear a lot about Colorado is we’re friendly people! But we’re not pushovers. Talk enough smack about our beloved Broncos, and we’ll show you the door. Good day! I said good day!

7. Colorado natives

People born in Colorado feel the need to tell everyone they’re a native (and we’ll proudly offer you our long form to prove it). Some might say we have an air of arrogance about us — but we don’t! We just want you to know. You can easily spot us by our Broncos gear, our over the top disdain for Texas and California (we can’t help it. We are taught from a young age to despise everything California or Texas, and we don’t even know why at this point), and our unhuman-like ability to wear shorts in the winter.