COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. (KOAA) — Vivian Cobb thought she had financial security, but weeks before her husband's death, she discovered their accounts were empty, and her home was in foreclosure.
Now, the Colorado Springs woman is sharing her story to encourage couples to have difficult conversations about finances.
"He was a very wealthy man, we were together about 10 years," Cobb said.
In 2011, Cobb's husband fell ill, and his condition worsened quickly. Weeks before he died, Cobb went to the bank to secure more funds and realized there was a surprise regarding their finances.
"We opened account after account after account. They were all pretty much empty, except for his checking account, which had $5,000 left in it. That's when I found out we had no more money," Cobb said.
"My house was five months in foreclosure. He had maxed out all his credit cards," Cobb said.
Cobb was unaware of the financial issues before her trip to the bank.
"He kept it from me because he was trying to protect me," Cobb said.
Following her husband's passing, Cobb had to get back on her feet.
"I built my real estate business. I catered parties for my friends. I cleaned houses," Cobb said.
Despite working her way back, Cobb said the main thing she did not do with her late husband was have a tough conversation regarding finances.
"Emotional and physical intimacy is great in a relationship, but a big missing piece is financial intimacy," Cobb said.
Catherine Hammond founded Hammond Law, a Colorado Springs-based estate planning firm. She said that while this is a unique example, it is still rather common for a partner to leave behind something unexpected for their widow.
"This is one of the most heartbreaking situations that we see," Hammond said. "I've had clients discover they were having an affair, and purchased property with the person they were having an affair with. We've seen all sorts of really surprising things."
To avoid these situations, Hammond and Cobb both recommend acknowledging the weight of a financial conversation with a partner. They suggest accepting it might be uncomfortable, but to consider how uncomfortable it would be if finances were not addressed.
"These are tender conversations and most of us don't want to face our mortality," Hammond said.
Hammond suggests approaching the conversation by leading with a scenario that could happen to anyone, such as asking what would happen if one of them got into a car accident.