Rose Report: 'The Bachelor' finale

Posted at 2:32 PM, Mar 16, 2016
and last updated 2016-03-16 16:32:57-04

Hi y’all! Thanks for checking out this week’s Rose Report--a blog where I break down the crazy things a group of women do in hopes of winning the heart of Denver’s Ben Higgins. A little about myself: I’m a 28-year-old producer, an avid Bachelor/Bachelorette fan (Chris Harrison is my spirit animal) and admittedly, I don’t like red roses.

So Monday’s finale was supposed to be, as usual, the most “dramatic finale ever.” Really it was the most boring finale ever. Even so, if you haven’t watched Monday’s finale episode, stop reading because there are spoilers ahead. I REPEAT: SPOILERS AHEAD.

JoJo or Lauren? That’s the question going in to the episode after Ben told both women he loved them during last week’s episode. Can a man really be in love with two women at once? You tell me.

The episode starts off with the girls talking and Lauren talks about how she can’t imagine ever loving someone else like she loves Ben. Then it goes to JoJo who says she knows where Ben stands and it’s amazing, and that this is the perfect relationship for her.

Ben goes to chat with his parents after telling both women he loves them in last week’s episode. He says he knows he meant it when he told them both. “I really do love JoJo AND Lauren.” Ben says his mind is not made up, not at all, and he needs his parents advice. Uh oh. This could be bad.

First up to meet the parents is Lauren. She has been waiting a long time to meet Ben’s parents, after saying, “I want to meet your family” really early on to Ben. Ben is sure to bring that up to his parents who seem a little confused but laugh along. Lauren seems a little nervous at first and maybe even a little uncomfortable but who wouldn’t be in this type of situation. Ben’s dad is wondering if Lauren is the perfect match for Ben.

Lauren tells Ben’s dad that she’s ready and that she’s very much in love with Ben. She then chats with Lauren’s mom, and says she wants her to see how much she genuinely cares about her son. Ben’s mom tells Lauren that Ben can get intense, and it will take a special woman to be patient with him during those times. Ben’s mom doesn’t seem 100% sure about Lauren. But Lauren leaves feeling like it went well, ready to become part of the family.

It’s time for JoJo to meet Ben’s parents and she tells the camera how excited she is to meet them. She seems nervous but it’s in a cute way, in a way she should be nervous. After JoJo meets Ben’s parents for the first time, you can tell JoJo and Ben’s mom have an instant connection. JoJo is honest and even tells her how nervous she is. They laugh and smile together and just look like they’d be fun to hang around.

Ben and JoJo talk together with his parents for sometime, and they chat about the experiences and the memories they’ve shared together. At one point they bring up seeing (or not seeing) the Hoover Dam from their Vegas helicopter ride. I guess they were making out too much to see it during the ride. Whatevs.

JoJo talks with Ben’s dad first, and he asks what it is about Ben that she likes so much. She says she’s always had an idea in her head of what she wanted in a man and it took her a while but she realized Ben is that man. She tells him Ben is her best friend. She wants Ben’s dad to know how much she loves him, and how there will never be a day where she won’t let him know that.

It’s time for JoJo to talk to Ben’s mom, and she tells JoJo that she could tell right off the bat that Ben thinks she’s amazing and special. JoJo tells Ben’s mom how happy she is with Ben, and how she knows they can get through tough times together. She sincerely starts tearing up when she talks to his mom (she did this with his dad too) and she tells his mom that it’s scary because she doesn’t want to lose him.

Ben chats with his parents after JoJo leaves and you can tell they both loved JoJo. Ben’s mom said she knows JoJo knows what it’s going to take to keep Ben safe, and his dad says of all the questions he had for JoJo, JoJo brought them up before he could even ask them. Ben tells his parents that he can picture life with both of them and he just really doesn’t know what to do.

Ben is still confused and was hoping for more clarity after the women met his parents, but that didn’t happen so it’s time for his last date with Lauren. They enjoy a date on a catamaran on a lovely day in Jamaica. Ben tells Lauren he’s ready, but this is misleading because he definitely isn’t and has no idea what he’s going to do. You can tell Ben is totally stressed, and you can tell Lauren is picking up on it.

After the break, Lauren is talking to the camera about how she’s feeling kind of defeated because Ben wasn’t himself on their date. The conversation between them during the evening portion of the date just seems awkward. Obviously that situation would be awkward for anyone but something seems off.

All along I’ve been #TeamLauren, but right now I’m starting to feel like maybe JoJo is the girl for Ben. Or maybe she’s too good for him? I guess we’ll see.

It’s time for JoJo’s last date with Ben and everything seems peachy. JoJo is saying all the right things, and she clearly has a good head on her shoulders. She tells the camera something so sweet: that Ben has become her best friend. We all know that’s the foundation for a good relationship.

JoJo and Ben discuss their relationship more in depth, and what will happen next if they end up together. JoJo tells Ben that she has so much faith in the two of them. JoJo can tell Ben is stressed though, so she pushes him a little further. She asks him if he feels good, and he can’t answer. She asks Ben to tell her how he feels multiple times, and he won’t say anything. Finally she says, “there’s two people here and you’re confused.” Ben is honest and replies with a “yes.” Poor JoJo seems stressed now. She was so confident going into this date, most likely thinking that he had only told HER he loves her. Ben tells JoJo his mind is in a thousand different places.

JoJo wants to know more about how he’s feeling. Why is Ben still so confused and what is he still so torn about? She tells the camera she loves him so much and is afraid to lose him.

Later in the evening portion of the date JoJo tells the camera she’s confused about what Ben will end up doing, and now JoJo is not nearly as confident as before. She feels like what she and Ben have is perfect, and doesn’t know how someone else’s relationship could top that.

Somehow they end up on the bathroom floor, and JoJo tells Ben she needs him to give her some kind of sign to let her know it’s her. JoJo seems like she’s picking up on the fact that Ben may have told Lauren he loves her too. Ben tells JoJo he loves her, and JoJo asks if he loves Lauren too. He says yes, and you can hear JoJo get upset. She tells him she’s sick of competing with other people.

JoJo tells Ben, “I just want it to be me and you,” but it’s not looking good. At least for now, my gut is telling me it’s going to be Lauren. Ben tells the camera he feels awful. He then talks about being lost and feeling lost and he says lost a lot of times. I’m more worried about JoJo. If she doesn’t end up with Ben she better be the next Bachelorette, that’s all I’m saying.

After the break Ben is picking out the ring with Neil Lane. I guess this means he knows who he has chosen? You can’t really pick out a ring without knowing whose finger you’re going to be putting it on, am I right?! Neil Lane asks the question we’ve all been wondering: “Do you know who it is?”

It’s time to see who Ben is going to give the final rose to, and this is going to be intense. Or at least I hope it is. I don’t want either girls to get their feelings hurt but I would like some drama here.

JoJo is the first one to get out of the car, and usually the first one to show up is the one going home. This makes me sad for her but I do see the connection between Ben and Lauren. But again, JoJo better be the next Bachelorette. Here we go. Time for her to get her heart broken. :(

JoJo tells the camera she trust Ben more than anything, and Ben lets her talk for WAY too long before letting her down. This was NOT COOL! She finally realizes that she isn’t the one, and knows Ben is going to break her heart. She feels blindsided and asks Ben where it went wrong. He says it never did. JoJo is too good for Ben anyway.

After the [heart]break, Ben tells the camera he could’ve married JoJo, but he loves Lauren more. He then calls Lauren’s dad to ask his permission to propose to Lauren. Lauren’s dad gives his permission. His reaction after he gets off the phone is pretty cute.

Lauren arrives in a helicopter and gets out looking like a boss. She’s walking like she knows it’s her. I really don’t think she did know, but she has confidence and I like that. I am happy for them.

Ben let’s Lauren talk for a while before he says anything, and she tells him how much she loves him and how he’s her person.

Ben says this experience has been a journey full of goodbyes, and then he tells Lauren that he doesn’t ever want to say goodbye to her. It was pretty sweet and you could see the relief on Lauren’s face after he said it.

Ben tells Lauren he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, and he gets down on one knee. The proposal is pretty sweet and I still can’t get over how big that ring is.

Ben asks Lauren if she will accept his final rose, and she gladly does. The two tell the camera they’re engaged and how good it feels. Lauren says it’s the happiest day of her life. Ben tells Lauren, “I love you fiancé.”

Now it’s time for ‘After the Final Rose’ and I respect all of y’all for reading this blog so I’m not going to waste too much of your time. They said there would be some “shocking moments” and “surprises” but really it’s not that exciting so let’s just get to it.

Chris Harrison brings JoJo up to talk with Ben, and JoJo is so amazing and holds herself together so well. She tells Ben how happy she is for him and Lauren, and how she thinks everything happened for a reason. Again, JoJo is too good for Ben. I don’t think he would be able to handle her coolness. (Don’t get me wrong, Lauren is cool too, I just think Lauren and Ben are a much better fit than he and JoJo would’ve been).

After the two talk, it’s time to announce who the next Bachelorette will be. Chris Harrison is standing in front of the couch and JoJo can be seen in the frame behind him. Chris Harrison makes it seem like someone is going to come out from behind stage, and JoJo acts the same, but then Chris announces it will be JoJo! YAY! So happy!!!

She will be SUCH a great bachelorette. But wait, here’s my question. Why did all the tabloids catch cameras following Caila around her hometown? Do you think it was a set up to throw #BachelorNation off? If so, well done producers!

Now it’s time for Lauren to come out – this will be the first time they get to be together publically – and they’re so cute together.

Lauren does most of the talking during the interview with Chris Harrison, and she is totally sincere and you can tell she’s super in love with Ben. She said up until she saw Ben on one knee, she was extremely nervous.

Ben tells Chris he falls more and more in love with her everyday, and Lauren tells Chris she’s even more in love with him than she was then. They talk for a while and Lauren tells Chris she will be moving to Denver to live with Ben. Welcome to Denver, Future Mrs. Higgins! We’re happy to have you!

So now it’s time for the big surprise of the night. The producers have made it seem like there would be a wedding, with Ben’s pastor standing by, but it turns out Ben just wanted a special moment for his new fiancé. He brings out her family and proposes to her for a second time. It was pretty sweet.

So, no dramatic moments or big surprises here, except for maybe JoJo being named the next Bachelorette, which I will say was exciting! We will be following along during her season, so be sure to live tweet with me when that premieres! It will be a couple of months, but we’ll update you once ABC sets an air date.

Thanks so much for hanging with me this season of ‘The Bachelor.’ I really loved hearing all of your thoughts – likes AND dislikes – about the episodes, so I just want you to know how much I appreciate you!

We are so happy for Ben and Lauren and can’t wait to see where their relationship goes in the city of Denver!

In Chris Harrison we trust,